


Well...

by GoalPostHead



Category: Cabin Pressure, John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme
Genre: Crossover, Gen, JFSP, Well since you asked me for a ghost story, skipthur if you really really squint, slight crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-25 20:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2634764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoalPostHead/pseuds/GoalPostHead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The flight to Limerick is really boring so when Douglas asks if anyone has any ghost stories Arthur has one to volunteer, but he doesn't tell it quite right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well...

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should update my other one! but I had this Idea and I had to write it! Its an addition to Limerick, I was listening to it not long after Souvenir Programme and when Douglas said the lines before the titles I had this idea. Arthur borrows his mums car and radio four is on and he hears the end of JFSP and this ghost story. Its in a world where John Finnemore exists as well as his fictional counterpart. Thank you to the Cabin Pressure fans website where I used the transcripts to help with the quoting! Thank you so so much to hypothetical-otters for checking this over for me! You are Brilliant!

“Bing-bong” 

Douglas' smooth voice came over the speakers. 

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We’re now about halfway through our flight from Hong Kong to Limerick, and I just thought I’d let you know that I … am … bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored … bored. We are, unbelievably, still flying over Russia, which continues to be stupidly big. Really enormous. Far bigger than necessary. We’ve been in the air now for about a week, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be landing until the last syllable of recorded time. So, if anyone on board knows any card tricks, ghost stories, or would like to have some sex, please do make your way to the flight deck. Thank you."

Carolyn sighed. Arthur giggled. The cabin address sounded again. This time Martin voice could be heard from the speakers. 

"Er, ladies and gentlemen, I do – I do profoundly apologise for my first officer and his badly misjudged attempt at humour. I do hope you weren’t distressed by his outburst, and-and let me just say in his defence that up here in the flight deck it is … unbelievably boring!" 

Arthur giggled again as Douglas' voice joined Martin's. 

"So boring."

"So very very very very boring!" Martin complained again. 

"Bo-ored!" They announced together. 

Arthur was still grinning even though he agreed with their complaints about the flight.

“Funny funny pilots" Carolyn said; remark imbued with sarcasm.

"They are funny mum, and it is so boring!" Arthur replied. 

"I know a ghost story! Do you think I should tell it to Skip and Douglas?" He grinned at his mother, not especially awaiting a reply but asking for politeness’s sake. 

"Yes Arthur I'm sure they'd be thrilled!" She replied although, yet again, Arthur failed to pick up the sarcasm in her comment. He very nearly skipped down the small plane to the flight deck door. He burst in to the small cabin and interrupted the planning of Douglas’ next limerick. 

"You said you where bored! I thought I'd help you stop being bored with one of your suggestions!" He grinned at the two men. 

"As long as you're not here for sex" Douglas drawled. Martin turned slightly pink as Arthur shook his head. 

"What? I’ve got a ghost story!" Arthur kept speaking, ignoring what Douglas had said.

"Go on then" Martin sighed, resigned to his fate of listening to an Arthur Story. 

"Well because you asked for a ghost story here's one" started the young man. 

"Arthur we know" Douglas groaned.  
"I heard this somewhere and the person reading it started with something like that... Where was I?" Arthur stopped to think, scratching his head as he did so.

“Oh yeah! I was in my club one night playing hi ho rumbly. Which is people bowling and as the boring one I sat in a cupboard and scored points for that. When someone came in covered in salt and pepper because that was the forfeit" 

"Arthur how long is this story" Douglas interrupted him. 

"I don't know, we'll find out!" the steward replied. The pilots sighed and Arthur continued. 

"The forfeits were being covered in powder. I asked if he believed in ghosts and he shook his head and we coughed because of the pepper. But then he thought of something and said  
'I found a letter once! In my jacket pocket, I like saying jacket pocket, and the letter said: dear uncle, I'm having a good holiday I'm staying with a woman who plays the hey hi rumble game and she told me a story about a man who came back late from the woods all scared all he said was "I went for a walk and saw a ghost" and then the letter finished. So you've once met a man who met a man... Who got a letter from a man... That knew a woman, that knew a man who went for a walk and saw a ghost!" Arthur had his thinking face on again. 

"Is that it Arthur?" Martin asked; surprised that Arthurs tale had come to its conclusion so soon after beginning. 

"Uhh no skip I just got to remember the next bit" Arthur stood in the doorway, for once silent. 

"Oh yeah I remember!! There was a PS on the letter and it said that the woman got the story wrong and that the guy actually said 'I went for a walk and saw a goat' so that proves we are not alone in the world because there are goats!" Arthur laughed at his own retelling while Douglas and Martin looked on confused. 

"Very good Arthur" drawled Douglas sarcastically 

"So there aren't actually any ghosts in it?" Asked Martin 

"No, there aren't meant to be any. It’s a funny ghost story. The man was scared of goats or something!" The youngest man continued laughing 

"Arthur. Tea please?" Asked the ginger pilot 

"'Kay skip" said the steward was grinning as he left the flight deck 

"Well" started Douglas "that was umm..." He continued 

"Interesting?" Martin supplied. 

"Certainly was that" Douglas agreed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I had alot of fun writing this!


End file.
